Washing Up on Mercy's Shore.
Fighting the Good Fight of Living Free
Just over a year ago, I wrote about processing grief through art. I am thankful for that painful season, it is only through going through such painful years that I find myself here now. I have washed up on Mercy’s Shore.
You might be thinking, “Hector, why do you keep looking backwards?”
To that I’ll say: ”Objects in the rearview mirror may be closer than they appear. Use caution.”
One way or another, I knew I’d find myself knowing peace and a different life. I’m slowly dreaming about more digital discipleship. I’m going to be leading evening prayer next week for my church. I recently transitioned from being a sub to a teacher’s aide, and I just finished up a call to start schooling up again this summer. The third time might be a charm, but the fourth time is the whole bracelet, I hear.
Tomorrow, I get to see a friend from my time in Seattle for the first time since we sat in my backyard talking over why I was leaving the city in the first place. I’m just gonna enjoy hugging that dude’s neck and enjoying some damn good coffee together like the old days.
I won’t get into details of why these lyrics speak so loudly to me today, but the closing lines of NEEDTOBREATHE’s “Mercy Shore state:
If we can wind up on a sandy beach, breathing air that only death can reach and singing songs that only Heaven leaves - it's okay with me. And God is wanting us to make-believe, but knowing something is only a dream - like the absolutes and the in-betweens are out of line, sometimes intertwined, behind a mind in lines, and fights that only fools are still trying to fight.
I guess these lines reflect the biggest thing I wanted to share this go around. That is that I finally feel free. Free from having to prove I was right. Free from having to hear from someone agree with my side of the story. Free from feeling like I won’t amount to much more than a former pastor who must have just burnt out. Maybe I was.
The truth is that in God’s grace and leading I most ceertainly am good with where I find myself. Mercy’s Shore feels great and I’m glad to have some sand between my toes. I’m done fighting a fools fight over the good fight. I’m living a quiet life and minding my business. I truly believe that’s a beautiful thing to aim for.
Amen.